i belonged to 88 groups on ravelry. now that number is 52. wow.
half of the groups i belonged to was in name only. i thought it wasn't fair to be a member and not participate. so long, i love my ipod, only child and TCM.
there were a bunch of groups that i initially participated in when i first joined them, but my interests or schedule changed, and i no longer visit them. bye bye, charity knitting, prayer shawls and babycakes.
some groups were defunct by nature. that would be you, eastwick and the forgotten.
and quite possibly the biggest shocker of all, i left my main group, HAPL. this was the hardest one to leave.
i joined in june 2008, after losing ani. the group gave me comfort and support as i processed my loss, my anxiety with TTC, getting pregnant and carrying the twins, then caring for them in the months afterward. i can't remember how many were in the group when i joined, but as of today, there were 188 women. that's a lot of heartache and loss.
over the past few weeks, however, i felt like i didn't fit into the group anymore. the majority of women who had losses around the time of mine now had babies of their own and were busy with their own lives. there were a lot of new faces in recent months. there are several women who struggle with TTC and i feel alienated from them as i will never know the pain of infertility and TTC for several years, and not months in my case. i have no idear what it's like to have a D&C, or an overdue miscarriage, or to have multiple losses, one after another. i felt disconnected from the new mom's thread as other moms discussed breast feeding, cloth diapering and other things attachment parents do that i just can't relate to. i'm sure even my ravatars, which featured the twins often, probably made others uncomfortable.
so i took a deep breath, sighed and clicked on the leave this group button. HAPL served me well during my hard time. i pray that some of my experience helped another grieving woman.
this has been a rather shitty week. i'm working on week 4 of bronchitis/cold, the boy is working on week 6 of his respiratory infection, petunia has a runny nose and is fussy (i pray it's teething and not a cold), fredster has a cough and hubby is teetering on the brink of getting sick. we're exhausted, i feel depressed and cold, and i really wish we were moving into march and not february. the good thing is, we are heading into february, it is a quick month, and hopefully soon it will be spring and we can be outdoors more.
ravelympics starts in 2 weeks. i need to get my yarn at the ready, the patterns sorted, the projects planned. i'm making preemie caps for the NICU at GMC, sort of a thank you for taking care of my little ones when they were born. if i'm lucky, i can also finish petunia's sock monkey (a WIP) and maybe even the baby monkey, which was to be a gift for nudge, but maybe intended for someone else.
my swirl shawl goes slowly. it's a tricky process.
half of the groups i belonged to was in name only. i thought it wasn't fair to be a member and not participate. so long, i love my ipod, only child and TCM.
there were a bunch of groups that i initially participated in when i first joined them, but my interests or schedule changed, and i no longer visit them. bye bye, charity knitting, prayer shawls and babycakes.
some groups were defunct by nature. that would be you, eastwick and the forgotten.
and quite possibly the biggest shocker of all, i left my main group, HAPL. this was the hardest one to leave.
i joined in june 2008, after losing ani. the group gave me comfort and support as i processed my loss, my anxiety with TTC, getting pregnant and carrying the twins, then caring for them in the months afterward. i can't remember how many were in the group when i joined, but as of today, there were 188 women. that's a lot of heartache and loss.
over the past few weeks, however, i felt like i didn't fit into the group anymore. the majority of women who had losses around the time of mine now had babies of their own and were busy with their own lives. there were a lot of new faces in recent months. there are several women who struggle with TTC and i feel alienated from them as i will never know the pain of infertility and TTC for several years, and not months in my case. i have no idear what it's like to have a D&C, or an overdue miscarriage, or to have multiple losses, one after another. i felt disconnected from the new mom's thread as other moms discussed breast feeding, cloth diapering and other things attachment parents do that i just can't relate to. i'm sure even my ravatars, which featured the twins often, probably made others uncomfortable.
so i took a deep breath, sighed and clicked on the leave this group button. HAPL served me well during my hard time. i pray that some of my experience helped another grieving woman.
this has been a rather shitty week. i'm working on week 4 of bronchitis/cold, the boy is working on week 6 of his respiratory infection, petunia has a runny nose and is fussy (i pray it's teething and not a cold), fredster has a cough and hubby is teetering on the brink of getting sick. we're exhausted, i feel depressed and cold, and i really wish we were moving into march and not february. the good thing is, we are heading into february, it is a quick month, and hopefully soon it will be spring and we can be outdoors more.
ravelympics starts in 2 weeks. i need to get my yarn at the ready, the patterns sorted, the projects planned. i'm making preemie caps for the NICU at GMC, sort of a thank you for taking care of my little ones when they were born. if i'm lucky, i can also finish petunia's sock monkey (a WIP) and maybe even the baby monkey, which was to be a gift for nudge, but maybe intended for someone else.
my swirl shawl goes slowly. it's a tricky process.
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