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Sunday, February 10, 2013

soul anemia

this blog post spoke volumes to me this week.  especially "anger is a symptom of soul anemia".  ann's post, it spoke to me.

then this installment of Coffee With Jesus showed up in my FB timeline:

coffee with jesus- forgiveness
image courtesy of radio free babylon

you see, i've been feeling very angry and bitter for a long time now.  angry that supposed friends were anything but;  bitter that a longstanding institution is corrupt and un-Christlike as it claims.  feeling lost.  feeling abandoned.  feeling very much alone.

the bitterness and anger, it is eating away at me.  i have no interest in knitting.  some days, taking care of my children is an effort.  i haven't posted my weekly gratitude list in months.  feeling angry and bitter is a crappy existence, let me tell you.

lent starts on wednesday.  we're supposed to give something up (or add something positive) in our life.  some years i gave up chips or soda; last year i did (or attempted) the 40 bag challenge.  some years i succeeded.  others, not so much.

this year for lent, i'm going to pray with intent.  in addition to praying for my family, friends and other concerns and joys, i'll pray for those whom i'm angry with, feel bitter about, are disappointed in.  when i pray my evening prayers, i often fall asleep before i finish them (prayer seems to be a great sleep aid for me!)  perhaps by praying i'll feel peace in my heart.  lightness in my life.  and maybe cure my soul anemia.

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