the flood

i wrote this post weeks before friday afternoon's tragedy in connecticut.  this song says a lot about how i feel about the world right now.  my thoughts and prayers are with those who lost a child, parent and loved one.

river12

it's that time of year.

i was afraid i wouldn't find another cover of "river" when i heard this luscious version in starbucks whilst knitting with my knit buddy.

enjoy!

the river

it's that time of year again.  my annual "river" post.  i could have written this back in june and had a "river in summer" post.  it's been a hard year for me, dealing with mostly family stuff.  hopefully the new year brings me much needed peace.  we can all use some peace.

i found this gem on youtube.  amy kuney - her voice is lovely and this version is luscious.

here's a completely different take on the song, once you get past the goofy slideshow of robert downey jr holding a cigarette in different poses.  i forgot he sang this on ally mcbeal.  who knew he had a set of pipes on him?

the river, canadian style

it's that time of year again.  apparently the winter doldrums have hit me hard and fast this year.  it's time for my annual "river" post.  i'm trying something a bit different this year.




if you're a joni mitchell purist, here's for you:






if you haven't been playing on my blog very long, for the past few years or so i have written a post about this song.  it sums up my feelings about the holidays perfectly.  i live a couple blocks from the mighty susquehanna, and this song always reminds me of it.

today it rained buckets.  the rainfall was so fast and furious that some schools left out early due to either flooding or power outages.  i can only imagine what the river's going to be like in a couple of days.

i'm not sure how i missed doing a river post last year.  i'm sure if i read through some of the posts, i'll find some reference.

river

i think if i scroll back through this blog i'll find another post by this name, and it will prolly say the same thing.

i was reminded of this song by joni mitchell today. it's such a sad holiday song, but it really fits my sentiment.

last week i had my check up for my sugar/bp. all fine on the home front. got the okay for the extra supplements i've been taking. tried to grovel for hormone level bloodwork by whining about my damn shedding hair. is it breaking off? no. do i have huge patches of missing hair? no. but i'm losing new baby hairs, and that's troubling. last night i tweezed some annoying curly eyelashes, and accidentally made a bald spot in the corner of my eye. feh.

i'm trying to explain to my doc my frustration about not conceiving, asking if maybe my hormones are screwed up since i'm still shedding. i somehow wound up saying "i feel like a failure" and boy did the floodgates break forth! bawled and bawled and bawled, and doc's trying to console me saying the loss and the fact that we're not pregnant is NOT my fault, that conception is a miracle, blah blah blah. gawd. if i had a dollar for every "you need to relax"..."babies are miracles"..."don't THINK about it!"..."it's not your fault"...and every other pregnancy and miscarriage cliche, we could just buy a baby from africa or something. then doc asks me if hubby and i ever considered going to therapy in order to deal with the loss. uh, no. what can a therapist tell me that i haven't already heard? i did therapy once, actually the same time as my first MC, and it was a bore. unless the therapist experienced pregnancy loss too, do they know what it feels like to feel behind everyone else? how special occasions make me feel panicky? that i know it's not my fault but i still wonder if it was a bad hamburger/cup of coke/smelling paint fumes/swimming too much didn't hurt my baby? why should i shell out $100 to someone who doesn't have a clue when i can get free advice/support from my group on ravelry?

it's funny. some days i'm fine. other days i'm a wreck.

hence, why i wish i could skate away i live near a river, but just can't skate away on it. :P

if i don't get lucky with this cycle, i'm toying with scheduling a spa pampering session for myself at a local spa. i have a newspaper coupon for a massage, facial, mani/pedi and paraffin dip for $99. a huge sum for me, but maybe a small price to pay since i feel so shitty lately.

river

this song by joni mitchell has been running through my head for days.

racked up some karma points (hopefully) by returning a purse i found in the grocery store parking lot yesterday. hopeful karma points in that i hope i didn't pick up a hot purse by mistake.

i dreamt last night that hubby and i had to run away from a tornado and hid under a piano bench. there was also an eagle flying in my dream.