good gravy

or rather not so good gravy. i have had a ravenous appetite for the past week and eat constantly. i really haven't had many aversions yet. i've been craving lemonade and beef (vitamin c and iron? these are good cravings.) also could eat a big bag of middleswarth without batting an eye, and fountain cokes taste good (not so good since i gave up soda for the boy and eat chips only when pms-ing). this isn't fair. i was sick 24/7 for 3 months with the boy. i LOST weight. i can't afford to gain a ton of weight with this one. what sucks worse is that it SHOWS. how am i gonna explain this at the bridal shower this weekend? my big boobs and gut are gonna be a giveaway. i don't care if my head is splitting wide open, i have to swim friday. and swim at least twice a week from now on.

fuck.

mom said that when she was having me she ate a ton of food and gained 40 pounds. she was lucky. she was skinny. i'm not. she wasn't sick either. does this mean i'm having a girl?