linky do's!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

a bright spot in an otherwise shitty week

this week hasn't been the greatest for me. the boy has been having trouble in school completing assignments, tasting new foods and from what i gather is becoming the class smart ass. for someone who took pride in being a good model student and getting good grades, it frankly scares the shit out of me. the boy has no interest in learning to write his name, color, draw or do anything remotely educational, except play with his cars and trucks and make up stories as he does so. i realize that play is important to child development, but apparently it's the only thing he likes to do at school. i work with him at home with writing and coloring and cutting and stuff, but i'm afraid of overwhelming him or else turning him off to school forever. he has another **13** years of school to go, and i don't want to ruin it for him. i wish i knew what to do.

then he had the fit about taking snoopy to the fair. we told him no numerous times, afraid that he'd get left somewhere and therefore lost forever and possibly thrown away since he's the skankiest looking dog in the world. absolute nuclear meltdown for this kid. he was quite snotty through much of the trip although he did lighten up. normally we would have turned around and went home, but i submitted knitting for exhibition and wanted to see how i did.

the boy is becoming such a spoiled brat. i spent much of yesterday bawling my head off to the point that i had a migraine and my teeth - all 32 of them - hurt. talk about feeling like the worst mother in the world. that's all i could think about - i'm the worse mother in the world. throw in feeling broad in the beam and that got my thought process saying "not only am i a bad mother, but i'm fat too." to add more insult, my chin is broke out and looks awful, and my hair was lanky becos i put a glaze on it and it looked like it was covered in crisco. so naturally that got me thinking "not only am i the worst mother in the world, but i'm fat and ugly too and maybe the world would be better off if i was gone!" talk about being in a funk. it continued to today, and i hate to admit that it put a pall on the trip to the fair and on what should have been a happy occasion. i still feel badly about everything. well, maybe i'm not the worse mother in the world. that distinction goes to the mom up river who left her 5 kids eat off the floor, live in filth, and gave them flat heads. but still, i feel lousy.

the only bright spot of the day (other than learning that i won awards) was that my new mason-dixon knitting book and prayer shawls book came in the mail today. that cheered me up. now, hopefully the yarn harlot's new book is on it's way to me, and that will at least cheer me up for another day.

the rest of this week is going to be hectic. so far 7 kids are coming to the boy's party. since i don't know if the other 11 are coming, i have to make at least 2 dozen cupcakes PLUS the pirate ship. i still have to make a treasure map, think up rainy day games in case we can't be in the grove, finish the treasure chest, finish the booty bags, and wrap the boy's presents. then sometime this weekend i have to bake brownies. never in my life will i do another party again. never.

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