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Friday, November 7, 2008

i wish i knew why

last night i had a dream about a friend from college. i have not been in touch with him for years. he lived in england, i live here, we wrote back and forth, and that was about it. he used to send me the most delicious mix tapes of new british/european acts - i acquired a nice music range from him. he'd be a nice guy to have a beer with, but not a guy to marry.

anyway, i haven't heard from him in years. so last night i had a dream that i got a big letter from him, saying he was doing well and wondering how i was. i wish i knew why i had a dream about him. i never think about him otherwise. his birthday was in november, so maybe it was a subconscious "hey, chiz's birthday is next week!" i used to send him neat gifts - mostly cds, bracelets, once a zippo lighter for xmas.

i wish i knew why i have such weird and vivid dreams. it must be hereditary, cos the boy has vivid dreams too, and he talks in his sleep like me.

i picked up a couple of knitting projects. i'm starting a new one, a christmas tree skirt to go with our new fake short thin tree. it was from a back issue of creative knitting. i had two skirts to choose from, this one and another that was in simply knitting, but that one was cream with intarsia. i'm not sure i'm up for intarsia for the holidays, spesh if i have socks and a scarf to finish.

i also dug out my ubatuba sweater. i started it **2** years ago and it only goes up to my arm pits since i'm too chicken to start the sleeves. well, my time has come, and it's time that i conquer my fear! so i'll work on my sweater while i work on my other projects.

as i mentioned in my last post, my grandmother's neighbor died, and she and my mom went to the funeral yesterday. they said it was sad, sad music, sad words. i don't know if it was sad becos of who he was - a really good man - or the fact that my grandmother is old and will die, and my mom's fear when that happens. i have that fear too. i know death is natural - i'm not afraid of it - but i love my family and don't want them to leave yet. i have my funeral planned, the scriptures i want, the music i want. i know that's morbid, but i want what i want when i'm dead.

mom said that the casket was open during the service and it creeped her and grams out. i don't blame them. i went to a funeral earlier this year where the casket was open, and looking at the person made them look like they were breathing. that's just creepy. and i don't find it comforting at all. i guess it's becoming the norm tho, mom said that a local funeral director likes the funerals at my church becos they are never open casket. i think it would be creepy to stare at your loved one through the service, but that's just me.

guess that's it.

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