the boy reminded me yesterday that i should keep praying for a baby. i never know how to pray. it's so easy to pray for others - for health, for a good day at work or school, to get through something. i'm even afraid to pray for money. what if someone i love dies and we get the inheritance? as much as we need money, i don't want anyone i love to die becos of it.
i feel selfish for praying for a baby. i know it's God's will, and i do say that as i pray, but i still feel funny about it. maybe that's why my prayers go unanswered...becos i have no faith.
hubby reminded me of the pictures of the double rainbow i took coming home from t's bridal shower last may. it was a week before we lost the baby. a rainbow for comfort? or a rainbow of promise?
anyway, it was a good reminder from yoda (the boy) that i need to keep praying for a baby. and one way or another, my prayers will be answered.
as for shutting up...it's getting harder and harder to go to my monday night knit group. i love my group. but once someone starts talking about babies, i just want to pack up and go home. i know i need to grow a bigger pair and just deal. others don't know that it still hurts to hear about someone's else's good fortune and obviously they shouldn't stop talking. but some days it's really hard. maybe it's hormones, maybe it's the upcoming holidays, maybe it's me missing baby a, but the last thing i want to hear right now is about babies. unless i'm preggers of course.
our group was huge last night. the gaggle from GC were there. i taught one lady how to cast on a mobieus scarf. i hope i taught okay. i can't teach. i don't know how. for someone who wants to open a yard shop, i guess i need to learn how to teach!
there have been a lot of new knitters at the group. that's a good thing. i miss the smallness and closeness of the original group, tho.
i got new jeans for xmas. my old ones are big (yay) and the new ones are ONE SIZE SMALLER THAN I USUALLY WEAR. that said, i will prolly get knocked up, and won't be able to wear them at all.
boy do i sound like a debby downer!
i feel selfish for praying for a baby. i know it's God's will, and i do say that as i pray, but i still feel funny about it. maybe that's why my prayers go unanswered...becos i have no faith.
hubby reminded me of the pictures of the double rainbow i took coming home from t's bridal shower last may. it was a week before we lost the baby. a rainbow for comfort? or a rainbow of promise?
anyway, it was a good reminder from yoda (the boy) that i need to keep praying for a baby. and one way or another, my prayers will be answered.
as for shutting up...it's getting harder and harder to go to my monday night knit group. i love my group. but once someone starts talking about babies, i just want to pack up and go home. i know i need to grow a bigger pair and just deal. others don't know that it still hurts to hear about someone's else's good fortune and obviously they shouldn't stop talking. but some days it's really hard. maybe it's hormones, maybe it's the upcoming holidays, maybe it's me missing baby a, but the last thing i want to hear right now is about babies. unless i'm preggers of course.
our group was huge last night. the gaggle from GC were there. i taught one lady how to cast on a mobieus scarf. i hope i taught okay. i can't teach. i don't know how. for someone who wants to open a yard shop, i guess i need to learn how to teach!
there have been a lot of new knitters at the group. that's a good thing. i miss the smallness and closeness of the original group, tho.
i got new jeans for xmas. my old ones are big (yay) and the new ones are ONE SIZE SMALLER THAN I USUALLY WEAR. that said, i will prolly get knocked up, and won't be able to wear them at all.
boy do i sound like a debby downer!
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