quite a bit happened over the past week or so and i don't know where to start. i guess i should start at the beginning of last week and go from there....
last monday hubby and i met with with an RE. i think my hormones are screwed up and i just feel "off". it's been 6 months since we've TTC and we've had no luck. twice i thought i was PG but wasn't. all i wanted was some bloodwork to see why i felt out of sync. i left that appointment feeling bruised and attacked. the doctor spent a good portion of the appointment ragging me about how to lose weight, how to eat, how much to exercise, that i need to buy gym memberships/etc to lose weight. that apparently what i'm doing isn't good enough. if he shut the fuck up long enough, i would have told him that i lost 2 pant sizes over the space of 2 months, and that the new jeans i just got are already big on me. guess that's not good enough. i was so upset, i wanted to just walk out of the room.
i did get labs done last friday and next week we'll have the follow up appointment to discuss the results. we're not going to do "reproductive heroics" like IVF or anything so i think unless i have something really wrong with me, we'll just leave things as they are, and just soldier on.
hubby has been especially proactive in TTC. he ordered some books and new lube that's supposed to help with TTC. i am so grateful for his support in all this.
the hols were especially good to us. i got my knitting stuff (no surprise there) but also got some beautiful beeswax candles, books, movies. mom got me a set of chocolate pearls, which were so unexpected that i cried when i got them. hubby loved his haggis shirt and dvd. he's so hard to buy for, but i thought he'd like that. the boy got lego, transformers (courtesy of me) and was just a wound up mess for much of the week. i think he's decompressed enough and i'll bet by next week he'll be ready for school. i think some of the behavior is from lack of schedule like he gets at school. he was the same way after school ended last spring.
the ILs seemed especially generous to me this year. i don't know if it was becos of the baby or what but i got books and gift cards including a big one to target. the itunes one is already spent, having bought great amounts of the police and queen. it only took 10 minutes.
poor hubby was in the same spot i was in last year. if it wasn't for the haggis stuff and a dvd he wouldn't have had many presents to open - they were all gift certificates. he seemed down about it. i felt so bad for him. i reminded him next year to ask for a couple of wrapped presents - that's why i asked for books and my kiehl's stuff.
i felt worse for the boy. ILs didn't give him anything but the lego (which **i** had bought and HAVEN'T been paid back!) and a couple of DVDs. he wanted transformers but all SIL got him were these dinky ones that were in target's bargain bins (the same ones *i* bought too). no games. no clothes. NO MONEY. poor kid. you'd think my ILs would have taken a little more effort to get him something, even cars.
i made up for it by getting 5 transformers at KB toys. 5 robots for the price of one. not that we could afford it, but i felt so bad that my inlaws didn't pony up more for him.
remind me next year NOT to make anything for MM. i made her the felted hat? it was little big and could i shrink it some more? well, i felted it this morning along with my red hat which was a bit tall. damn things felted TOO much after 5 minutes. my hat wasn't too bad. MMs shrank so much the dog could wear it. i stretched the hell out of the thing on my own head, pulling it out of shape to the point it looked like father guido sarducci's hat. they're drying now so hopefully they're pull out of shape. must remember for next year - NO KNITTING FOR MM. NO MATTER WHAT MY EGO SAYS. i'm so sick of having my knitting criticized by her.
friday was a blot. had my labs done and then shopped at target, hallmark and the grocery stores. i never saw so many ignorant selfish shoppers in my life. just goes to show, stick a sale sign on something and people lose all sense of reality.
saturday we had dinner with my family at country cupboard. dropped the boy off at the ILs and went to see "day the earth stood still" with hubby. it was a good movie. i saw the original last year and would love to see it again to compare the movies. waited almost half an hour for food at our newly renovated and reopened mcdonalds. it took us 15 minutes to get to the order screen. i hope this isn't a harbinger of things to come. i missed mcnuggets.
yesterday we were heathens and skipped church. instead i cleaned up the boy's toy bins and reorganized things a bit. i have more cleaning to do, i'll do some this afternoon.
i'm not looking forward to this week. anni was due new year's day. so far i've been okay. i was afraid i'd start wailing on christmas eve, since the church service is always so emotional but i didn't cry. i still have a few days to go so it will be interesting to see how i fair out. i miss my baby so much. it hurts.
but maybe i had a sign that she's with us. hubby took a picture of the boy at the ILs, swimming in the wrapping paper. in one picture there's an orb. in the previous picture he was looking up at where the orb was, and in the next picture the orb appears. i normally don't believe in the supernatural (aside from angels) but i would like to think that the orb is anni, getting her picture taken with the boy.
i finished the mohair mobius. it looks really good. i had a pickle of a time casting it off, since my cable broke and all my live stitches were left spiraling around. out of 200/400 stitches, only one stitch dropped. i started a new pair of socks for grams. i owe her socks. and i started another baby kimono using the burgundy/pink slub yarn i got at swishers.
i think that's it. the hols have been quiet. that's a good thing.
last monday hubby and i met with with an RE. i think my hormones are screwed up and i just feel "off". it's been 6 months since we've TTC and we've had no luck. twice i thought i was PG but wasn't. all i wanted was some bloodwork to see why i felt out of sync. i left that appointment feeling bruised and attacked. the doctor spent a good portion of the appointment ragging me about how to lose weight, how to eat, how much to exercise, that i need to buy gym memberships/etc to lose weight. that apparently what i'm doing isn't good enough. if he shut the fuck up long enough, i would have told him that i lost 2 pant sizes over the space of 2 months, and that the new jeans i just got are already big on me. guess that's not good enough. i was so upset, i wanted to just walk out of the room.
i did get labs done last friday and next week we'll have the follow up appointment to discuss the results. we're not going to do "reproductive heroics" like IVF or anything so i think unless i have something really wrong with me, we'll just leave things as they are, and just soldier on.
hubby has been especially proactive in TTC. he ordered some books and new lube that's supposed to help with TTC. i am so grateful for his support in all this.
the hols were especially good to us. i got my knitting stuff (no surprise there) but also got some beautiful beeswax candles, books, movies. mom got me a set of chocolate pearls, which were so unexpected that i cried when i got them. hubby loved his haggis shirt and dvd. he's so hard to buy for, but i thought he'd like that. the boy got lego, transformers (courtesy of me) and was just a wound up mess for much of the week. i think he's decompressed enough and i'll bet by next week he'll be ready for school. i think some of the behavior is from lack of schedule like he gets at school. he was the same way after school ended last spring.
the ILs seemed especially generous to me this year. i don't know if it was becos of the baby or what but i got books and gift cards including a big one to target. the itunes one is already spent, having bought great amounts of the police and queen. it only took 10 minutes.
poor hubby was in the same spot i was in last year. if it wasn't for the haggis stuff and a dvd he wouldn't have had many presents to open - they were all gift certificates. he seemed down about it. i felt so bad for him. i reminded him next year to ask for a couple of wrapped presents - that's why i asked for books and my kiehl's stuff.
i felt worse for the boy. ILs didn't give him anything but the lego (which **i** had bought and HAVEN'T been paid back!) and a couple of DVDs. he wanted transformers but all SIL got him were these dinky ones that were in target's bargain bins (the same ones *i* bought too). no games. no clothes. NO MONEY. poor kid. you'd think my ILs would have taken a little more effort to get him something, even cars.
i made up for it by getting 5 transformers at KB toys. 5 robots for the price of one. not that we could afford it, but i felt so bad that my inlaws didn't pony up more for him.
remind me next year NOT to make anything for MM. i made her the felted hat? it was little big and could i shrink it some more? well, i felted it this morning along with my red hat which was a bit tall. damn things felted TOO much after 5 minutes. my hat wasn't too bad. MMs shrank so much the dog could wear it. i stretched the hell out of the thing on my own head, pulling it out of shape to the point it looked like father guido sarducci's hat. they're drying now so hopefully they're pull out of shape. must remember for next year - NO KNITTING FOR MM. NO MATTER WHAT MY EGO SAYS. i'm so sick of having my knitting criticized by her.
friday was a blot. had my labs done and then shopped at target, hallmark and the grocery stores. i never saw so many ignorant selfish shoppers in my life. just goes to show, stick a sale sign on something and people lose all sense of reality.
saturday we had dinner with my family at country cupboard. dropped the boy off at the ILs and went to see "day the earth stood still" with hubby. it was a good movie. i saw the original last year and would love to see it again to compare the movies. waited almost half an hour for food at our newly renovated and reopened mcdonalds. it took us 15 minutes to get to the order screen. i hope this isn't a harbinger of things to come. i missed mcnuggets.
yesterday we were heathens and skipped church. instead i cleaned up the boy's toy bins and reorganized things a bit. i have more cleaning to do, i'll do some this afternoon.
i'm not looking forward to this week. anni was due new year's day. so far i've been okay. i was afraid i'd start wailing on christmas eve, since the church service is always so emotional but i didn't cry. i still have a few days to go so it will be interesting to see how i fair out. i miss my baby so much. it hurts.
but maybe i had a sign that she's with us. hubby took a picture of the boy at the ILs, swimming in the wrapping paper. in one picture there's an orb. in the previous picture he was looking up at where the orb was, and in the next picture the orb appears. i normally don't believe in the supernatural (aside from angels) but i would like to think that the orb is anni, getting her picture taken with the boy.
i finished the mohair mobius. it looks really good. i had a pickle of a time casting it off, since my cable broke and all my live stitches were left spiraling around. out of 200/400 stitches, only one stitch dropped. i started a new pair of socks for grams. i owe her socks. and i started another baby kimono using the burgundy/pink slub yarn i got at swishers.
i think that's it. the hols have been quiet. that's a good thing.
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