my inner light sees your inner light ***

i realize that i have not talked about one of my favorite activities in my writings.  it seems especially appropriate now.

i am not an athletic person.  the most workout you could expect out of me was shopping at the mall, chasing the kids or running to the computer room for yarn or a book.  i used to play field hockey and basketball when i was in junior high but i sucked at both sports, choosing to concentrate on music and academics.  in college i had to take swimming for a gym requirement (which i also sucked at, cos i can't swim without getting water up my nose) but i kept my weight down by walking from one end of campus (where my job and the library was) to the other (where the cafeteria and the chapel was).  

i always wanted to try yoga, but i live in a pretty rural area and there weren't many classes around.  11 years ago yoga classes were offered at the CSIU (through bloomsburg university) and for $45 i got 6 weekly classes.  the teacher was a woman from lewisburg (her name escapes me) and she was pleasant.  i was tickled to see that she was not a skinny twig but round shaped like me.  for 90 minutes she taught us breathing exercises, sun salutations, and various poses, ending with savasana.  i was totally out of shape, but the poses became easier as weeks went by.  classes were offered the following year and i eagerly signed up again.  in addition to the lady, sudharman taught a couple of classes.  he looked the part of a yogi - thin, tall, with long graying hair and a long graying beard.  i remember him telling our class that he didn't need to wear glasses because he did eye exercises (looking up/down, left/right, rolling all around) - apparently these exercises strengthened the eye muscles.  i guess i should have listened to his advice and did the exercises, becos i am blind as a bat and hate wearing glasses and contacts.  he was also the first person i knew who used a neti pot/salt water solution from his cupped hand and claimed that he hadn't had a cold in years becos of it.  glad it worked for him - i have a neti pot and all it does for me is make my nose stuffier.  he was a tough teacher - he knew his stuff - but very kind and encouraging.

in 2004, with postpartum weight still clinging to me, i searched out another yoga teacher.  i found every body yoga in sunbury.  the teachers were former school teachers - in fact, hubby had lenore in high school.  lenore and sue taught kripalu yoga - gentle yoga.  they emphasized on breathing, relaxing into poses, and going as far into a pose as you felt comfortable - if it hurt, you went too far.  and if there was a pose you didn't want to do or felt comfortable with, you didn't have to do it.  this was my kind of yoga!  i went to classes weekly, sometimes more than once a week.  there were all kinds of people in my classes - old folks, young people, men, women, fat, thin.  i felt at home in lenore and sue's classes.  

i used to get a funny look when i told people i liked to do yoga.  people think of yoga as a religious deviance and not very christian, as the poses are to honor various hindu gods.  but i never viewed yoga in that way.  to me yoga was exercise, no different than running or lifting weights.  it was immensely relaxing for me too.

in late 2006 my yoga teachers lost the location of their class venue, but they continued to teach classes at evangelical community hospital.  however, the registration was through the hospital, and the payment and the schedule was not as flexible as lenore and sue's.  since my life was unpredictable and i didn't have the money to spend in case i had to miss a class, i stopped going.  however, lenore and sue recorded one of their classes and put it on cd, so i was able to do their class at home.  this was convenient for me, but i missed the other people from my classes.  

a woman from lenore's class was licensed to be a yoga instructor, and i took a couple of her classes.  she was good, but she just wasn't as smooth or as knowledgable as lenore or sue.  so i stopped going completely.

by this time i was diagnosed with high blood pressure and insulin resistance (i'm positive that these came about from not going to yoga) and i had to find another form of exercise.  i liked to swim, despite not being a good swimmer, and got a swim pass at susquehanna university to swim laps.  the first semester of swimming was a blot.  i was lucky to swim 20 laps without getting fatigued.  i tried swimming with fins and a boogie board and that helped my laps considerably.  i purchased my own board, fins and swim gloves at dick's and set off on my routine.  for fall and spring semesters, once a week, i swam up to 40 laps, alternating swimming with the board, without the board, treading water, doggy paddling, and back floating.  swimming did a great job of toning my legs, ass and arms, and kept my insulin levels and blood pressure at bay.  it wasn't much, and it wasn't perfect, but i enjoyed swimming.  i think my favorite sessions were when i was pissed off after my miscarriage, working off the stubborn 5 pounds ani left me with, churning through the lanes.  i'd ache and practically throw up from exhaustion but i felt alive. and it worked, becos i lost the weight and then some, which i think helped me conceive the twins.  i'm on break from swimming for the summer, but will go back first thing in september for my pass.  

i digress.  i am writing about yoga becos my old teacher, sudharman, was murdered earlier this week.  i was stunned and saddened by this news.  he was shot by a crazy man from the midwest.  this disturbed man even emailed his intentions to harm sudharman and another yoga teacher.  the man was caught before he harmed the other teacher, but sudharman was not as fortunate.

i don't understand how this happened.  i don't understand why someone would want to harm someone as gentle and kind as sudharman.  the man was also a yoga teacher, and while i understand even peaceful people can get angry, i don't know how they could act like it.  and it bothers me that someone who lived peacefully had to die so violently.  it's not fair.  

as a christian, i know that sudharman is in a better place.  i'm sure he earned many karma points on earth.    but he had many years yet to live on earth, and i am sad that his life was shortened.  

namaste - my inner light sees your inner light.

*** i changed the title of my post when a fellow knitter thought it was about namaste knitting bags.  yeah, they are cool and would also make an awesome post.  but unfortunately, not today's subject.  :)