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Saturday, September 11, 2010

always remember

i completed my first SOTMC project, just in time.  introducing, "i remember":


knit with schoeller-stahl fortissima colori socka color in USA flag on size 1.5 needles.  the pattern is cobbled from patterns from the book socks a la carte.  the cuff is called "prestige", the pattern is "welt", a variation on feather and fan, with a short row heel and basic toe decrease.  i haven't done a short row heel in years, so i felt a bit rusty, but i chose that heel to maintain the stripe in the sock.  i planned on doing a star toe, but hosed up the instructions.  i had to match yarn for the second sock so i could maintain the stripe pattern, and did pretty well - i think i'm off by maybe half a row or so.

the first sock was so simple it practically knit itself.  i knit it in 3 days.  the second sock took a bit longer. i did the heel 3 times - i neglected to follow directions (k3tog instead of k2tog) and hosed up the heel and had to frog it.  as frustrating as that was, it gave me good practice in frogging and picking up stitches.

i cranked on the second sock to finish it today.  i chose this yarn and pattern in honor of 9/11.  the ripple in the pattern give the illusion of a fluttering flag.

i'll never forget 9/11.  fortunately i do not know anyone who was killed in the attacks.  there was a girl from my college class who died in the towers but i didn't know her personally.  shanksville is a spit's throw from where i lived for a year when i was 2.

i remember watching the movie 28 days on box when mom came to the house with something.  she asked me if i heard that a plane went into the WTC.  i hadn't heard the news becos i was watching the movie, and turned the channel.  i thought it was just an accident.  then we heard a second plane flew into the second tower, we wondered if we were under attack.  i remember the sky that day.  it was a beautiful blue.  the weather was perfect.  a beautiful day.

hubby was off work that day - we were leaving for canada the next day for vacation - and i drove to work.  i heard about the pentagon at the light in front of may's.  i called home and asked hubby if/who was attacking us.  got to work, and the tv was on, with the nurses and secretaries gathered around it.  we watched the towers fall.  we heard that a fourth plane crashed in a field in western pennsylvania.  i remembered the area from my toddlerhood and was horrified that such a terrible thing happened there.  the office opened at noon but the mood was somber.  all stopped to watch the horror unfold.  i remember one amish family kept their heads low, not tempted by the pictures on the screen.

the doctor i worked for walked around the office in a daze, attending to her patients, clutching her purse. she was fearful for her children and her ex husband, who were of middle eastern descent.

tuesday was my late day and we didn't leave until nearly 8 that evening.  i remember the first thing i did when i got home was cry in hubby's arms.  i sobbed, believing that the world was coming to an end.

we didn't know if we would be able to get across the border to canada the next day.  we figured the borders were on lockdown.  so we canceled the hotel reservations.  we still wanted to go away, escape the awful day, so we decided to go to lake george new york.  we called for reservations and left the next day.  it was a somber vacation.  we went to prospect mountain and took a bus to the top.  i remember asking the driver if the smoke from the towers were visible from this spot, 100 miles from new york city. he quietly replied no, then said that he'd lost friends in those towers.  i felt ashamed asking him that question.

we ate out at our favorite german and polish restaurants.  we went to great escape amusement park (how appropriate name was that?) and ausable chasm.  we went to the shopping outlets.  we even drove to vermont, to burlington, and to ben and jerry's.  it was hard to have fun when so many people were devastated at losing a loved one.

the weeks after the attacks were terrible.  every time i heard an airplane overhead, i panicked.  it's doubtful that our rural area would be a place of an attack, but we lived within an hour of 2 nuclear plants, so anything was possible.  this frightened me as my grandmother lives 10 minutes away from one.  sometimes we heard fighter jets flying overhead.  when i was younger i thought this was cool but now i knew that the jets were either on missions or performing practice maneuvers.

it was the attacks that made us talk about seriously having children.  at that point, we were happy just being us, doing what we wanted, spending our money any way we wanted, and being free.  the attacks made us look at ourselves and our family.  we decided, after being together for 5 years and married for nearly 3, that it was time.  the attacks made the future look uncertain, and we didn't want to miss a thing.

9 years later, the sound on a plane overhead still causes me to look twice.  occasionally i have dreams of plane crashes (i had them with my last pregnancy, they really freaked me out).  my heart feels heavy when i hear of another war casualty. i have friends in the service and i constantly pray for their safety.  i was really upset this weekend when a pastor wanted to burn a copy of the muslim holy book.  a good Christian doesn't do that.  we are respectful of others.  talks of a mosque near the WTC site also have folks on edge - while i believe they have a right to build their mosque, it seems a bit tacky to me to build it so close to the site.  i'd rather see a multidenominational building in the area, where people can get together to learn about one another's faiths.

on this day, i'll always remember.

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