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Sunday, January 30, 2011

checking my faith at the door

i added several new blogs to my roll over the past month or so, mommy blogs i found from other mommy bloggers' blog rolls.  some blogs are about twins, others are just general mommy blogs, and i find them entertaining and inspirational.

it's amusing that the majority of the new blogs are by christian mothers, either mormon or catholic.  i don't have a problem with that.  they have a faith, they believe, and that's okay in my book.

i occasionally write about my faith here, usually when i have questions or concerns about the world around me, or when something happens to me that i can attribute to God.  i'm not ashamed to talk about my faith.  or so i thought.

i belong to a few support groups online.  while they aren't necessarily "faith based", faith is discussed occasionally and it is suggested that any talk regarding one's belief be respectful, as not everyone shares the same feelings on faith.

in one group, i check my faith at the door.  i hate it.  i hate the fact that i feel guilty about discussing my faith and how it has helped me deal with the hard issues in my life.

there are individuals who blame God/the universe/whoever for the circumstance they are in.  they express their anger and frustration and fear as "fuck god.  fuck the universe.  fuck everyone."  i understand why they feel that way - many times i felt abandoned by God.  there were times when no matter how many times i prayed, i thought God wasn't listening.  it wasn't until later when i understood that God still was in my life, working behind the scenes.  it's cliche, but things really do happen for a reason.  we may not like it, and it sometimes (a lot of times) sucks, but things happen.

then there are the times when someone shares a problem and asks for suggestions.  in one circumstance, i wanted to share this particular experience but couldn't.  i felt weird saying "the same thing happened to me...this happened and then a month later this happened and yippee for me".  it's so hard to determine who or when talking about my faith is appropriate.

there are times when i would love to say, "i'm sorry you're hurting.  i pray that you feel peace.  i pray that the things you want you receive".  but no.  "you're in my thoughts" is a frequent post.  "sending good thoughts for *whatever*" is another.  and "sending prayer vibes".  prayer vibes?  ugh.

i sometimes wonder, if people had more faith, would their circumstances improve?  if people prayed more than they complained, would they get what they desired so deeply?

i get tired of hiding my faith.  my faith is part of me.  my faith is what sustains me through the rough times.  why should i feel guilty or ashamed of my faith?  why should i feel guilty or ashamed that the things i have in my life - my family, my home, my life - is becos of my faith in God.  i shouldn't, but i do.  and i'm going to work hard on fixing that.

i'm grateful for these new mommy blogs.  they inspire me to be a better mom, a better person.  i want to be a better mom, wife and daughter.  when i feel like a better person, life just seems easier, you know?

do you share your faith?  how do you do that?  and how do you share your faith experiences without sounding like a jesus freak (no offense to the jesus freaks out there) or holier-than-thou?  


  1. I check my faith at the door for my blog. And I don't really know why since it's such a big part of my life. But there have been times when I've been blasted my people on facebook (you know my "friends) and I just don't want to deal with it. I mostly talk about my crazy life with my kids.

    That being said I do tell people that I'm praying for them. I feel like if someone is reaching out for help on their blog, they will get it.

  2. A very interesting post, thank you :)

    I've only recently returned to my faith, but even in the years when it was lost, I still took comfort when people offered to pray for me, since they were showing their support regardless of my own beliefs. Perhaps that's not how everyone would see it, but I don't think you should ever be ashamed in what you believe.

    Much love,

  3. I appreciate everyone's thoughts. My faith is still a WIP and it's comforting to know I'm not alone in this. Thanks!


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