a while back i wrote about my growing frustration with my knitting group. last night it kind of came to a head.
i'm the baby in a group of ladies averaging 60 years old. they never made me feel like a kid tho, and i really respected their collective wisdom on knitting and life in general. the group has changed over the past 4 and a half years, with members coming and going, and i expect that as lives and priorities change.
last year i missed several months of knitting becos of the twins and didn't really get back into the swing of it until this past winter. group meets monday evenings and many times i left knitting early becos i practically fell asleep. i'd say i was lucky if i went once a month. during the time i was gone several members joined and others drifted when other obligations came up.
my teacher, Bob love her, is an awesome teacher. she knows just about everything there is about knitting. and while she is game to try new patterns, she doesn't seem to have the same enthusiasm to learning new techniques or try the hottest pattern on knitty as i do. every year when i mention KDO she shrugs it off, not interested in taking a class or visiting the yarn market. nor does she encourage others to attend KDO either. maybe it's becos she has over 40 years of knitting experience and there's not much else she can learn. i always figure, even when i've been knitting 50 years, there's always something new to learn. when they had a shower for us, she wouldn't even hold the kiddos. while the other ladies had fun playing pass the baby, she avoided holding them. i'm not a kiddie person either (!!) but i've never refused to hold a baby or child, and after i had my own, i enjoyed it even more. but she didn't even try, and that did hurt my feelings a bit.
one lady has been knitting about a long as i have. she is very nice, but is extremely OCD about her knitting. i remember when we first started knitting, she would rip out knitting becos it wasn't perfect. it took many years until she she finally left a minor mistake be instead of ripping and fixing. i also remember feeling frustrated, when i first learned to knit, waiting for my teacher's attention while she helped this lady. i'd sit, knitting sitting idle in front of me, trying to be patient but chomping at the bit becos i had a question or wanted to learn something new. if anything, this taught me to sit and fiddle with my knitting until i figured out what i needed to do. but if i was a new knitter, with less patience than me (!!) i probably would have given up on knitting or else found another teacher or group. this lady is the squeaky wheel. she never changes.
then a new lady started coming to group while i was incubating the kids. a retired teacher, she moved to the area and found our group. she has been knitting for years and is extremely talented. she knit an EZ sweater, complete with steeks for a recent project. her work is beautiful. she is always looking for a challenge, mostly sweaters. however, last week, when i showed off the 2 pairs of socks that i made over the course of a month after a drought of over 2 years, she practically yawned and acted like socks were beneath her.
while these ladies are very nice, they also annoyed me to the point that i left knitting early.
i went to knitting with the intent of leaving around 8 becos i had to pick the boy up at bible school, and i thought an hour of knitting would be relaxing. when i got to the library there wasn't a parking spot to be had becos there were a bunch of activities occurring at the same time, and i had to circle the block twice to get a spot. when i got there my teacher and another lady were talking, and i greeted them, but barely got a grunt from either. the squeaky wheel came in a few minutes later as did a recent new lady. the new lady needed help with her project, and the squeaky wheel was talking about a problem with her eye glasses. boring talk, as i don't have bifocals, so i worked on my sock. the lady then stops mid speech and tells my teacher "you're looking at my hair". apparently she'd gotten a dye job and wasn't happy about it, so this started a "no, your hair is fine" debate. the irony is that i'm half the age of these women and don't color my hair, and i wanted to say something but thought that would be a bit bitchy.
then the sweater lady came and when teacher asked where she parked she says "oh, i found a spot in the lot, someone left", like it was no big deal. i don't know why, but just her saying that pissed me off.
then the squeaky wheel pulled out her project, an afghan, and started complaining about how her cast on edge didn't match the bind off edge, and that she was going to rip it out and re-bind off. i said, "gauge" and teacher agreed that nobody knits the same tension all the time, and the lady still complained about the damn blanket. she planned to drape it over a chair. at this point i almost shouted "what does it matter if the edges don't match if you're going to drape it over a chair?" instead i said my blanket edges never match and that maybe blocking will help make the edges more even. teacher said that as well, and the lady still didn't look convinced. i just wanted to scream, "the gulf coast is going to hell, the economy sucks, and i was worried about my baby boy's physical development, and you're worried about the edges of a fucking blanket not matching!" instead i put away my project, gathered my belongings, bid the group goodbye and walked out. it was abrupt and very unlike me but i just had to get out of there.
i barely made it to my car before i started to cry. it was 7:30, so i decided to go for a drive and cry. i drove out and around coal country, farther than i planned but i got back in time to pick up the boy. the drive was actually pleasant; where i went is pretty rural, and i could smell the woods - it smelled like red rock. i listened to the children of men soundtrack and cried and observed my old stomping grounds - this was the area i used to visit when i worked at c&y. a lot changed in over 10 years, yet it seemed the same, more overgrown and abandoned. sometimes the only comfort i get is going for a drive - not very practical in this fuel economy but sometimes needed just to stay sane.
so i picked up the boy, we went home, and as soon as the boy went to bed i drank a glass of wine. i'm a teetotaler, so that just shows how agitated i was from knitting. i told hubby my tale of woe and then started thinking about what i could do about my situation.
i think for starters i'm going to go to starbucks and knit by myself for a while. it's quiet, i can get a hot chocolate or tea, and it gets me out. i'm also going to look into the knit nights at my LYS. the one shop closed, but i think the owner said they would start new somewhere else, and maybe i can hook up with them; my other option is the LYS 20 minutes away. it's not as convenient as my monday night group, but i could make do, spesh if i only went a couple times a month.
i also wish i was in a group where the knitters are as adventurous as me. i wish i had knitter friends as enthusiastic about KDO as i am. i wish i had knitter friends who had little kids like me, so i could talk about my family sometimes, or even ask for advice or help. that's a tall order, but maybe what i need is a fresh start. my life is so different from what it was when i first started knitting, i need to adjust too.
it seems that i've been kvetching a lot lately. it's time i change my attitude! for starters, i completed some projects.
a really bad picture of a cute chemo cap. the flower top chemo cap, knit with leftover cotton-ease, for a little girl with cancer. ironically it is for one of the knitters from group - her daughter works with this little girl, and i offered to knit a cap for a "girly girl". i hope she likes it. and i pray that she gets well really soon. i also have 2 caps for the kiddos completed, all i have to do is get off my arse and take a picture. i also have one sock knit from grams, and the ribbing and part of the leg completed on the second. if i could get my act together, maybe i could finish it and give it to her next week.
i'm the baby in a group of ladies averaging 60 years old. they never made me feel like a kid tho, and i really respected their collective wisdom on knitting and life in general. the group has changed over the past 4 and a half years, with members coming and going, and i expect that as lives and priorities change.
last year i missed several months of knitting becos of the twins and didn't really get back into the swing of it until this past winter. group meets monday evenings and many times i left knitting early becos i practically fell asleep. i'd say i was lucky if i went once a month. during the time i was gone several members joined and others drifted when other obligations came up.
my teacher, Bob love her, is an awesome teacher. she knows just about everything there is about knitting. and while she is game to try new patterns, she doesn't seem to have the same enthusiasm to learning new techniques or try the hottest pattern on knitty as i do. every year when i mention KDO she shrugs it off, not interested in taking a class or visiting the yarn market. nor does she encourage others to attend KDO either. maybe it's becos she has over 40 years of knitting experience and there's not much else she can learn. i always figure, even when i've been knitting 50 years, there's always something new to learn. when they had a shower for us, she wouldn't even hold the kiddos. while the other ladies had fun playing pass the baby, she avoided holding them. i'm not a kiddie person either (!!) but i've never refused to hold a baby or child, and after i had my own, i enjoyed it even more. but she didn't even try, and that did hurt my feelings a bit.
one lady has been knitting about a long as i have. she is very nice, but is extremely OCD about her knitting. i remember when we first started knitting, she would rip out knitting becos it wasn't perfect. it took many years until she she finally left a minor mistake be instead of ripping and fixing. i also remember feeling frustrated, when i first learned to knit, waiting for my teacher's attention while she helped this lady. i'd sit, knitting sitting idle in front of me, trying to be patient but chomping at the bit becos i had a question or wanted to learn something new. if anything, this taught me to sit and fiddle with my knitting until i figured out what i needed to do. but if i was a new knitter, with less patience than me (!!) i probably would have given up on knitting or else found another teacher or group. this lady is the squeaky wheel. she never changes.
then a new lady started coming to group while i was incubating the kids. a retired teacher, she moved to the area and found our group. she has been knitting for years and is extremely talented. she knit an EZ sweater, complete with steeks for a recent project. her work is beautiful. she is always looking for a challenge, mostly sweaters. however, last week, when i showed off the 2 pairs of socks that i made over the course of a month after a drought of over 2 years, she practically yawned and acted like socks were beneath her.
while these ladies are very nice, they also annoyed me to the point that i left knitting early.
i went to knitting with the intent of leaving around 8 becos i had to pick the boy up at bible school, and i thought an hour of knitting would be relaxing. when i got to the library there wasn't a parking spot to be had becos there were a bunch of activities occurring at the same time, and i had to circle the block twice to get a spot. when i got there my teacher and another lady were talking, and i greeted them, but barely got a grunt from either. the squeaky wheel came in a few minutes later as did a recent new lady. the new lady needed help with her project, and the squeaky wheel was talking about a problem with her eye glasses. boring talk, as i don't have bifocals, so i worked on my sock. the lady then stops mid speech and tells my teacher "you're looking at my hair". apparently she'd gotten a dye job and wasn't happy about it, so this started a "no, your hair is fine" debate. the irony is that i'm half the age of these women and don't color my hair, and i wanted to say something but thought that would be a bit bitchy.
then the sweater lady came and when teacher asked where she parked she says "oh, i found a spot in the lot, someone left", like it was no big deal. i don't know why, but just her saying that pissed me off.
then the squeaky wheel pulled out her project, an afghan, and started complaining about how her cast on edge didn't match the bind off edge, and that she was going to rip it out and re-bind off. i said, "gauge" and teacher agreed that nobody knits the same tension all the time, and the lady still complained about the damn blanket. she planned to drape it over a chair. at this point i almost shouted "what does it matter if the edges don't match if you're going to drape it over a chair?" instead i said my blanket edges never match and that maybe blocking will help make the edges more even. teacher said that as well, and the lady still didn't look convinced. i just wanted to scream, "the gulf coast is going to hell, the economy sucks, and i was worried about my baby boy's physical development, and you're worried about the edges of a fucking blanket not matching!" instead i put away my project, gathered my belongings, bid the group goodbye and walked out. it was abrupt and very unlike me but i just had to get out of there.
i barely made it to my car before i started to cry. it was 7:30, so i decided to go for a drive and cry. i drove out and around coal country, farther than i planned but i got back in time to pick up the boy. the drive was actually pleasant; where i went is pretty rural, and i could smell the woods - it smelled like red rock. i listened to the children of men soundtrack and cried and observed my old stomping grounds - this was the area i used to visit when i worked at c&y. a lot changed in over 10 years, yet it seemed the same, more overgrown and abandoned. sometimes the only comfort i get is going for a drive - not very practical in this fuel economy but sometimes needed just to stay sane.
so i picked up the boy, we went home, and as soon as the boy went to bed i drank a glass of wine. i'm a teetotaler, so that just shows how agitated i was from knitting. i told hubby my tale of woe and then started thinking about what i could do about my situation.
i think for starters i'm going to go to starbucks and knit by myself for a while. it's quiet, i can get a hot chocolate or tea, and it gets me out. i'm also going to look into the knit nights at my LYS. the one shop closed, but i think the owner said they would start new somewhere else, and maybe i can hook up with them; my other option is the LYS 20 minutes away. it's not as convenient as my monday night group, but i could make do, spesh if i only went a couple times a month.
i also wish i was in a group where the knitters are as adventurous as me. i wish i had knitter friends as enthusiastic about KDO as i am. i wish i had knitter friends who had little kids like me, so i could talk about my family sometimes, or even ask for advice or help. that's a tall order, but maybe what i need is a fresh start. my life is so different from what it was when i first started knitting, i need to adjust too.
it seems that i've been kvetching a lot lately. it's time i change my attitude! for starters, i completed some projects.
a really bad picture of a cute chemo cap. the flower top chemo cap, knit with leftover cotton-ease, for a little girl with cancer. ironically it is for one of the knitters from group - her daughter works with this little girl, and i offered to knit a cap for a "girly girl". i hope she likes it. and i pray that she gets well really soon. i also have 2 caps for the kiddos completed, all i have to do is get off my arse and take a picture. i also have one sock knit from grams, and the ribbing and part of the leg completed on the second. if i could get my act together, maybe i could finish it and give it to her next week.
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