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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

the silver lining - NaBloPoMo

What's a bad thing that happened to you that ended up turning into something good?

i had two bad things happen to me that in the long run were good.

in 2002 i had a chemical pregnancy.  i was a week late, but my pee tests would be negative.  i went to the doctor for blood work, becos never in my life was i a week late for my period.  that afternoon at work i started bleeding, thinking my period started, but it was heavy and painful.  i called my doctor to get my test results, and was congratulated that i was pregnant.  i stuttered "uh, i'm bleeding..." and the nurse told me to call my gyn.  the next day the dildocam showed that i was no longer pregnant.  my beta was really low - 67 - and my doctor apologized, and gave me the dreaded..."it was a chemical pregnancy...but it shows that you can get pregnant."  that's cold comfort.  it was all saint's day.  how appropriate that my baby died on all saints day. 

we decided to wait until january to try again.  i think the boy was a super bowl baby.  a month later i got my positive pee test.

five years later we tried again for a second baby.  we were chagrined to find ourselves pregnant on the first month of trying.  our joy turned to sorrow as by month's end, my baby, who i called ani, died.  i was 8 weeks along, but really wanted that pregnancy.

it took months of trying to get pregnant.  we got lucky on our last try.  our last month was december.   the first week of january i got my BFP, and 2 weeks later, learned that we were having twins.

my miscarriages were the saddest periods of my life.  but had it not been for losing mackenzie and ani, i would not have the boy, freddie beans and petunia.  

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