tomorrow i start my new PSOTMC for 2010. today i chose the bag containing the yarn for january at random:
opened it up and found this:
it's noro kureyon sock, purchased at labadie looms in bird in hand, over two and a half years ago. this yarn is part of my "ani" stash, a chunk of stash i bought in lancaster after i lost ani. i remember the day i bought it - numb, sad, empty, raw. the store was rustic. there were spinning wheels and fleece. the yarn reminded me of bright easter eggs. i paid no regard to the price - i just wanted to dull my pain, and yarn was my drug of choice at the time (still is).
i find it ironic, or maybe it's kismet or serendipity, that i chose this yarn for january. perhaps, it picked me. ani's EDD was new year's day 2009, so it's fitting that this yarn got picked. i nearly forgot ani's EDD.
i have a feeling that ani is a bit like her little sister - a snark. that's why she picked this yarn for me, as a way of saying "don't forget me mommy! i'm still in your heart always!" i feel badly that i nearly forgot her EDD, but i'm finding that her loss feels more like a dim sad memory than the sharp pain i felt two years ago at this time. i guess having three active living children will do that. ani, you are sadly remembered, but never forgotten.
now to find the pattern to go with the yarn...perhaps, baby girl in heaven, you can help me with that too?
opened it up and found this:
it's noro kureyon sock, purchased at labadie looms in bird in hand, over two and a half years ago. this yarn is part of my "ani" stash, a chunk of stash i bought in lancaster after i lost ani. i remember the day i bought it - numb, sad, empty, raw. the store was rustic. there were spinning wheels and fleece. the yarn reminded me of bright easter eggs. i paid no regard to the price - i just wanted to dull my pain, and yarn was my drug of choice at the time (still is).
i find it ironic, or maybe it's kismet or serendipity, that i chose this yarn for january. perhaps, it picked me. ani's EDD was new year's day 2009, so it's fitting that this yarn got picked. i nearly forgot ani's EDD.
i have a feeling that ani is a bit like her little sister - a snark. that's why she picked this yarn for me, as a way of saying "don't forget me mommy! i'm still in your heart always!" i feel badly that i nearly forgot her EDD, but i'm finding that her loss feels more like a dim sad memory than the sharp pain i felt two years ago at this time. i guess having three active living children will do that. ani, you are sadly remembered, but never forgotten.
now to find the pattern to go with the yarn...perhaps, baby girl in heaven, you can help me with that too?
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