Hai.

It's been a long time since I've written here, and I thought maybe writing would help me work out some things that have been on my mind. 

A lot of things have happened in the past 18 months. Firstly, the kiddos started school full time and currently are in the first grade. Freddie enjoys school and does pretty well. Petunia is struggling. She's a whiz at math but has a hard time with reading. It's hard for me to watch her struggle as I've always loved reading and am a huge bookworm. Both she and Freddie are getting extra help for it but I hate to see her struggle. 

The Boy is in sixth grade and preparing for junior high next year. He's learning to play the drums and recently started phase 2 of his braces. He's a great kid, doing really well in his classes. He has his moments but he is almost a teenager so it's normal. 

Hubby is hubby, still working for the Man and bringing home the bacon. He lost over 50 pounds over the past year by walking 10,000 steps a day and eating a very low carb/high protein diet. His blood sugars dropped nearly 100 points  and his cholesterol improved. I'm so proud that he is paying attention to staying healthy. 

Then there's me. Health wise nothing's new - my diabetes is controlled although it could be much better. Hubby has taken over cooking duties of late to accommodate his diet and my eating habits have improved as a result. I still love my pasta but I don't eat it as often. Some foods turn me right off! I still go to the gym, not as often as I'd like, but I still do the weight machines and added the recumbent bike to my workout. I went down a pant size! The weight loss is slow and hard for me as PCOS makes things a challenge but I am trying to be mindful and listen to my body to figure out its needs. 

A broken toe (plus surgery for it), a uterine ablation and a badly sprained ankle didn't help with my gym goals. Coupled with crap sleep and over active brain weasels some days are an effort to have any spoons.  

I hadn't been knitting for a while. I often went to knit night with little progress from one week to the next. Last year I completed 12 projects, a disappointment for me as I had so many things to knit and no spoons to complete them. I made a goal for this year to knit every day, even if it was only a couple of rows, and to complete at least one project a month. So far I made a hat and a pair of mitts in January, no projects for February but I'll be finishing a shawl this weekend (hopefully!) and am well through another shawl project and a cowl. I participated in a MKAL which helped as it gave me goals to knit each week. Hopefully this means I have my knitting mojo back!

Of course with the good days there are bad days. My SiL is getting divorced. The situation blindsided all of us (SiL included). 

Lastly, my FiL died suddenly after thanksgiving. He had a cardiac event while he was driving home from a meeting. Thankfully no one else was injured. I am still trying to process his passing. Most days I'm ok until something reminds me that he is gone.  I think deep down I am depressed as I spend most of my days sleeping, watching crap tv or playing solitaire on my iPad. Some days it is an effort to get up. This was another reason I wanted to get back to knitting as I needed something g to soothe my broken heart. 

I worry about hubby as he has taken over as the male head of the family. He helps his mom a lot and I know he worries a lot about his sister, the kids and me.  I worry that the extra stress will hurt him. But I cannot allow the worries and what-ifs take over my thoughts so I support him the best that I can. And I pray that our family will find peace and strength.

the zombie flu

the zombie flu seems to be in the house.

i was the last of our bunch to get sick.  after 10 days, two antibiotics and a couple nights of chills and sweats, i'm still sick.  i lost 8 pounds over the past week becos the meds made me sick to my stomach and i couldn't keep any food down.

hubby got sick before i did, and is feeling better, although he still hacks up a lung each morning.

freddie started with the runny nose and fever on saturday and seems to be on the mend.

petunia started sunday.  she coughs like she's got whooping cough.

the boy's wet cough returned yesterday, and i foresee a trip to the doctor for him in the future, since the first go around for him resulted in bronchitis, zithro and preds.

we need a break from all this illness.  the other parents/grandparents at preschool today looked at me like i was typhoid mary.

this is the fourth round of antibiotics since july.  i've felt rundown for months, especially since my last cold in september.  sometimes i wish someone would knock me out for a couple of weeks, so my body can heal.  

WE ARE!

TIRED AND HOT AND DIRTY AND UNHAPPY!




my favorite picture.




poor pigeon, caught in the stairwell at the parking garage.

a not so funny subject

yesterday i pulled an epic april fool's joke - leading folks to believe that i was selling off all my knitting supplies due to financial difficulty.  while i intended the post to be a joke, there's a possibility that i may well have to liquidate stash.

i'm sure everyone's aware of the financial situation our state (and country) is in.  our state is cutting back severely on funding to education.  my husband works at an intermediate unit, where the budget cuts did have an indirect affect.  as of today, several positions have been cut due to insufficient funds and grants that never materialized.  in addition, there is a new administrator taking office in the future and there's possibility of some reorganization.  hubby's position is not in the line of fire (thankfully), but that's not to say that down the road we face a pay freeze or (bob forbid) his department is eliminated altogether.

i've been a SAHM for over 8 years now.  with the financial world in a bit of a tailspin (IMHO), you can bet i'm thinking about reentering the workforce.  i would need to revamp my resume.  i would need to relearn the application and interview process, becos apparently much has changed in the time since i worked.  i would also have to look into child care options, becos the kiddos are a few years away from going to school.

i joke that i couldn't part with my yarn or supplies.  in reality, i've seriously considered selling off stash.  there's quite a bit i could part with.  i could sell 3/4 of it and still have plenty left to knit with for years.

i would part with my stash, becos i love my family and would do absolutely anything for our survival.  if  i have to sell my mal or tosh to feed my kids or pay the heating bill, i would do it in a heartbeat.

the signatures DPNs, however, i might cry over when they go byes. but i'd let them go.

this week...

...has me feeling a bit like this:



the boy had sinus infection and a bit of pneumonia.  petunia has ear infection and croup (and i suspect a sinus infection too).  freddie, who got sick after the boy and before petunia, seems to be getting sick all over again along with the croupy cough.  the three of them are one big coughing cacophony.  the boy and petunia were on preds, so not only are they sick, but they are amped up too.

hubby is getting over a cold and still has sore throat.

i'm just on the verge of a cold but never tipping over the edge...sore throat, yellow snot, my sinuses fill then dry up like a tide.  on top of that i have killer HS carbuncles under my arms that make any kind of movement excruciating.  my sugars are improving while my HS worsens - figure that one out!

this song always cheers me up - definitely could use it right now as it's been one long hard winter...

simple kind of life

i consider myself a simple girl.  i'll take plain over fancy, vintage over shiny and new, nostalgia over up-to-the-minute.  i'm comfy in a pair of jeans (not jeggings) and a t-shirt (minus sequins or some stupid picture on it).  if i could, i'd go barefoot for the rest of my life (ironic considering how many pairs of socks i've knit myself, and the hard decisions i make choosing shoes so i can wear them).  i just switched out my purse - my big black "winter" purse to my favorite patchwork purse that i got in philly three years ago.

my family is the same way.  we live in an old house that we renovated ourselves.  we drive a hyundai entourage, not becos i wanna be a soccer mom, but to accommodate our family.  instead of big fancy vacations, we take road trips.

for valentine's day, i gave hubby a card and a bag of hearts candy.  he gave me a dvd and cd of one of our favorite movies, you got mail.


having twins and a big kid, you get creative with your ever-shrinking finances.  i look at it as "cutting the cloth to fit the coat".

you know when you're a grown up when you use your tax refund not for fun things, but to pay off things - like the boy's braces, my gymboree card, and next fall's taxes.  i think the last time we used our refund for "fun" was when we used it to drive to and from hubby's cousin's wedding in saskatchewan 6 years ago (quite possibly one of the best road trips we ever did - kid included).


what other people do with their money really is none of my business.  i know where ours goes.  so why does it hurt so bad when you hear that someone who was thisclose to bankruptcy brags about their recent tropical vacation sans kids?  (it doesn't help to hear this after a weekend of dealing with three sick kids and a hubby, while trying to keep your guts intact after a bout of stomach flu).


i take a deep breath and remember:

i do without so i can be home full time with my kids.

i do without so i can provide them the best - physically, emotionally and spiritually.

i do without becos i know that my self worth isn't tied to whether or not i'm carrying the latest louis vuitton or wearing the latest from hollister.

i do without becos some days, it's the only option.


when i look at my children i feel like the richest woman in the world.  i relish the kiss petunia gave me - a new skill she's learned.  freddie garbles "i love you mama" and gives me his goofy owl grin.  the boy tells me that "i'm the best mom in the world" when i make mac and cheese or peroghies for him.

that's why, it's the simple life for me.

an early valentine's dinner

hubby and i went out to penn state for one of his meetings, and we decided to celebrate v-day early by eating out.

one of our favorite restaurants is the deli.  hubby usually goes for the big sloppy reubens and sauted mushrooms.  i love their onion soup.




my mixed green salad with balsamic vinaigrette, french onion soup, and hubby's fried calamari...




my pecan crusted chicken with asparagus and (i think) pureed squash.  the dish was supposed to have creamed spinach and sweet potato.  the soup and salad filled me up so much i brought my meal home with me.  that always happens - my eyes are bigger than my stomach (that and the fact that i didn't know my dish had a side salad).




hubby's reuben...




and the sauteed mushrooms.  these are so yummy.  i tried to reproduce them a few months ago, but i used burgundy wine and supposedly these are made with port.  guess i'll have to add that to my shopping list...




i encountered this bad boy the last time we visited the deli and this time i remembered my camera...





i want one of these hand dryers in my house.  these things rock.  of course, i should get one of their vacuums first (on my long list of gimme's...)  yes, it's the weird things that entertain me.


lovely dinner.  lovely day.

i love my hubby.

this is dedicated to the ones i love

my tiny corner of the world would not be possible without this wonderful man in my life:

thanksgiving stuffing

thanksgiving this year was a relatively quiet affair.



the fruits of my three day labors, with a little help from country cupboard.




satisfied.




one of my little blessings.




my harshest food critic.  that's rice pasta he's eating.  heaven forbid he eat the good stuff from CC.




this year we didn't go down to hubby's relatives' gathering down yonder.  with the kiddos teething and me on meds getting rid of this wretched cough, we decided to forgo the trip.  next year we'll go.  apparently we were no really, it's the kids they missed.

thanksgiving with hubby's relatives are "snacky, picker" foods.  crudite, cheese, fruit, finger foods. this evolved becos many had big thanksgiving dinners at lunchtime, and naturally weren't hungry for another large meal in the evening.

i miss the meals we used to have down there.  grandpa was a chicken farmer, and grandma always made a "nontraditional" thanksgiving dinner that didn't involve poultry.  a favorite meal was fried oysters;  other years they had boiled shrimp.  of course, there was always a bit of meat for us non-seafood eaters.  grandma, hubby's aunts and cousins also made the usual side dishes - mashed potatoes, stuffing, vegetables.  i loved grandma's stuffing - i could eat just that for the meal and be happy.  i tried to make it once, and it wasn't the same (it didn't help that the recipe grandma gave me was for a crowd of 50, and my sizing down recipe skills are nil).  and the pies.  lord did i love grandma's egg custard.  cousin T made it in recent years, but grandma's pie was always the best.

the meal morphed to the picker foods after grandpa passed several years ago.  they were easier to make, people could bring different dishes, and as more grands and great-grands were added to the family, made it easier to eat around the house instead of around tables.  me, being the meat and potatoes gal, missed the big family meal.  believe it or not, some years we left the festivities still hungry, and we'd stop at a rutter's on the way home to pick up goodies.  i know it's my fault for leaving hungry, but i just can't make a meal out of carrot sticks and cheese.  give me a big bowl of stuffing with gravy, please!  and egg custard.

i miss grandma.  thanksgivings won't be the same without her.

some good, some bad

grams is home from the hospital and settling in at home. she has a modified walker for her wrist and now a potty chair. already she feels better at home.

on the other hand, MIL is having a horrible time with her chemo. she was really sick yesterday and today has to be admitted for iv fluids as she is dehydrated. i hope she feels better soon. i wish someone would come up with a cancer treatment where the cure doesn't feel worse than the disease.

we got a nice baby card and gift cert to our favorite chinese restaurant from one of hubby's bosses. that will come in really handy in the future!

yesterday the boy was the student of the day in his class. he got a sticker for having good behavior and came home with a booklet made up of pictures from the other kids, who also practiced writing his name.

saw my own doc yesterday - incision looks good but has a bit of a raw spot (the same area that has been giving me problems for about a week). i assumed it was a spot of HS but he said he saw nothing there except the lip of the incision. i go back in 3 weeks for another wound check, and (i surmise) they may be monitoring me for PPD as well. i had to fill out a PPD quiz, and i feel fine with the occasional cry. i chalked it up to the perfect storm of emotions last week - my hormones, boy going to school, grams falling, MIL's chemo. i was lucky to not have PPD with the boy and i really hope i'm okay with the twins. my supports have changed becos mom will be taking care of grams for the next few weeks, so i really need to buck up and learn to deal with the babies on my own.

i came up with my own solution to taking the boy to school in the morning. i was really dreading bundling the babies up to walk him to the bus stop. i was also worrying about how i would get some exercise in - i'd been planning on going back to swimming in october - but that might not happen if mom's not around. last night the solution came to me - provided that it's not raining or snowing, i can put the babies in the stroller and after the boy gets on the bus, take the babies for a walk. i do like exercising in the morning than any time of day, the babies get stimulated outside, i get exercise, the boy gets to school, it's a win times 3 solution!

i grocery shopped yesterday, time to roast the chicken.

encouraging news

better news on grams. hopefully she will be home on monday. mom is going to stay with her while she recovers. grams is very sore and sat most of the day today, but that's to be expected. her knee is still weak, and the doctor thinks that the ligaments in her knee are stretched, causing the weakness. it'll take a while for those to heal if that's the case. i think she will feel so much better when she's home, with her own chair and bed and kitchen and bathroom. hospitals are retched.

speaking of retched, there is minimal staff at the hospital. and not just on weekends, ALL THE TIME. apparently there are only 2 RNs for an entire floor (about 20 beds). fortunately there aren't many patients. mom has been helping grams go to the bathroom and walking her around and doing things for her since there is no staff to do it. the staff is actually grateful for this. when dad stopped by this evening, he said that the visiting hours are very liberal, probably to enable family to help care for their loved one. why the hell are we paying all this money to insurance and the hospitals if no one is there to properly care for them! she might as well be home! cheaper than a room! this must be a common practice in small hospitals tho. minimal staff. minimal patient care. and people wonder why our health care system blows. but i won't even go there.

mom is chomping at the bit to see the babies. she wanted to come down to see the kids. when she calls tonight, i'm going to ask if she'd rather we come up to the hospital. that way grams can see the babies too, and maybe that will perk her spirits up.


and i got really good news on MIL. she was released from the hospital yesterday. apparently she passed out from low BP while going to the bathroom. one of the things with chemo is that when you strain to go to the bathroom - for men it's urinating, for women it's a BM - the straining can cause low BP and can cause fainting. i'm just so glad that there was no problem with her heart. hubby talked to her a while ago, and she said she had a greater appreciation of what one of our family friends went through with chemo - she was sick for 10 years, and still worked, was active in church, and took care of her grandkids. dad said that a lady at our church also battling cancer basically sequesters herself in her house for a week after chemo, she is so sick and weak. i thought it was a mistake for MIL to go camping during her treatment, but it wasn't my choice. now they're home from vacation, and she'll be able to loaf and be sick in her own home now.

waiting for wings and pizza. gram's fall has knocked me for a loop, and all that sounds good is comfort foods. i can't wait until she's home and feeling better.

in which i'm deemed a certifiable loon

i got encouraging news on gram's broken wrist. late last night the ortho finally set her wrist and she now has a soft cast (i think). she still is in a lot of pain, most of the wrist, some of it the jostling of the fall. she fell on a hard wood floor, and she barely has meat on her bones, so she's going to hurt for a long time. her knee is still a bit weak, but she got a walker that has an adaption for her arm and she was able to walk around her room. it looks like she'll be in the hospital for a few more days. i have no idear what will happen from there, if she'll go home to/with mom or have to go to a physical rehab floor (which she doesn't want). in 6 weeks she'll have the cast removed.

i was on pins and needles from about 6am on, becos mom was going to drop off some stuff before running up to the hospital. i thought she might leave early if she didn't sleep well. 6am passes, 7am passes, and as the time creeps towards 7:30 i am seriously freaking out. while i was washing up dishes i heard the door and yelled. it was mom dropping of the papers - she thought we were upstairs with the kids. i charge after her in tears, asking how grams was, telling her about my stupid dream. she looked at me like i was totally nuts. i was SO convinced that something bad happened during the night. but mom said that grams was fine last night and she'd call when she had news. so around lunch time she called and i got to talk to grams. she sounded good - and it felt good to talk to her. she asked about the kids and the boy's first day of school, and i asked her about her wrist. hopefully she comes home soon. hospital beds are so wretched.

so far no news on MIL. hubby called FIL when he was picking up the boy from school, and the doctor hadn't seen her yet. so it looks like she'll still be in the hospital another day.

i am so glad my dream didn't come true. i hate having such vivid dreams. they run in the family - both my folks are vivid dreamers as is the boy. i wish i was like hubby. he rarely dreams at all, and when he does, they are "polaroid" type dreams - snapshots.

the master plan

they say God has a master plan for everyone, but it isn't always revealed until it needs to be - this could be 5 minutes away, 50 years, the moment we die. i think i saw a glimpse of the plan yesterday and it amazes me how things work out the way they do.

yesterday was the boy's first day of school. i was getting ready to go shopping (first solo trip in months!) when the phone rang. it was my dad, telling me that my grandmother fell in her bedroom and thought she broke her arm. they were running up to take her to the hospital.

throughout the day mom or dad would call with reports - waiting in the ER for the doc, settling her in for the night in a room, waiting for the orthopedist to come set the bone (a broken wrist, we found out).

at the same time, my MIL, who had her first chemo treatment on wednesday, passed out in the early afternoon and my FIL had to take HER to the ER. we didn't hear this until late last night, when FIL called and asked for help with his truck - his battery was dead and needed a jump. hubby had been trying to reach his folks all afternoon and evening but they never answered their phones. MIL is now hospitalized for observation, becos, as i wasn't aware, the chemo drugs can destroy heart tissue.



i can't help but think that (in my selfish mind) it was probably very lucky that the babies arrived when they did. had they not arrived, i would probably be having a C-section today. it's the boy's second day of school, and we are home to see him off on the bus and to pick him up in the afternoon. if i was in the hospital, and grams was in the hospital, and MIL was in the hospital, there would be no one around to get him to and from school. mom assured that dad would be around to see him off, but it's not the same. MIL had chemo this week, which puts her on "quarantine", so she and prolly FIL couldn't take care of the boy. and this is incredibly morbid, but if something happens to grams, she at least saw the birth of the twins and got to meet and hold them.




yes, this is what i'm scared about. last night mom called after 8 - grams was resting in a room, with her wrist on a pillow, not set, no meds. she was in a lot of pain, plus her back (which had previous problems) was paining her. she said that when it got closer to sleep, she was going to ask for meds for her back. grams is unable to stand on her own - her knee gave out on her (no reason why, other than the doc speculated that her knees prolly have arthritis and that's what let her down) so she needs help going to the bathroom and getting up. mom said she's (grams, herself) is scared. i think mom (and grams) is afraid that she'll need to go into a home. and that will definitely kill my grandmother.

i'm not sure what treatment protocol is, but i question whether or not my grams is getting the best care available. mom said they sat in the ER for hours. dad was concerned that while they took gram's vitals (temps, BP) they never checked her heart. this concerns me too since apparently her BP was sky high (from shock and pain) and i'm scared she'll either have a heart attack or a stroke. her wrist hasn't been set yet although they anticipated the ortho doc coming in late to do it. i know it's a small hospital, but it just doesn't seem like enough. is it really just a minor (!!?) injury? or are they slacking on treatment becos she's old and maybe anticipate that something will happen (like she'll die)?




and what has me awake at 5 in the morning is that i woke up from a horrible dream. i dreamt of my grandmother, near her hospital bed, crying becos "she kept hearing voices" and knew the end was near. what woke me up was hearing a phone ring at quarter to 5 in the morning. i am praying that it is residual pregnancy hormones giving me this awful dream. i almost afraid for the next couple of hours (until after 8) when the boy is off to school, becos if anything did happen to my grandmother, i cannot believe mom would call me before sending the boy to school. plus she is leaving early this morning to go back to the hospital and she is dropping some stuff off. this should be around 7.




i think i have mentioned in previous posts what a stubborn woman my grandmother is. it's hereditary as mom, myself and hopefully the pixie are just as stubborn. after grams fell, she managed to call mom and dad (fortunately there is a phone in the bedroom). since her knee still felt weak, she half crawled to the attic where she got pap's cane. she then managed to get out to the breezeway (which is at the other end of the house) to unlock the door to let the garage door guy in becos the garage door was broken. the guy arrives, offered to take grams to the hospital, and GRAMS REFUSES. she sits in the breezeway waiting for mom and waiting for the door guy to fix the door. apparently he was gone before mom and dad got there. can you believe that? instead of calling an ambulance or my aunt or cousin or myriad of other relatives that live nearby, grams waited in pain for my parents to come, only to be shipped to the hospital in an ambulance anyway!

like i told mom and hubby, i really hope this clips gram's mowing wings. she is 85 years old and INSISTS on mowing her own grass. and it's not a small patch of grass. it is a very large yard ( actually two, a front and a back). she does this all by hand (the yard is big enough for a riding mower but she has no room to store one). it scares the shit out of me becos i am always afraid that some day we'll get a call from her neighbors saying they found her dead pushing her mower. maybe this ends the mowing debate.




oh, the boy had a great day at school! he got on the bus just fine and came home all excited. apparently that was the highlight of his day - riding the bus! we tried to ask him questions about his day - who did he meet, what was his classes like, and he was too jazzed up to really tell us. he was really wound when he came home. hubby guessed it was from sitting for nearly 6 hours, trying to be good. he was also hungry - his fault for not eating the lunch i sent! i gave him his school cone (which prolly jazzed him up worse), which had school supplies, markers, pencils, a stapler and tape (so he's not stealing mine!), hershey kisses and starbursts. while at the grocery store i got him a general grevous figure, and i also got a jawa which i planned to give for his birthday but he found them both. he is obsessed with star wars right now and it seemed like the perfect goodie for him. he then proceeded to beat on the cone, which i grumped him - it needs to last him the next few years (or until he complains about it). we got him to bed by 8, fell asleep shortly thereafter. we wanted to start bedding him early for the past few weeks but the babies' schedules kinda blew that off course. waking him up is just as interesting. he was used to sleeping in (his old school didn't start until 9) so he's in for a rude awakening for the next few weeks. he'll adjust. we all will.

did i cry when he went off to school? i welled up, but was too busy trying to take pictures of him getting on the bus. and i had a big cry the night before in the shower (showers and baths are great for this). hubby was really worried. i think he worries that i could have PPD. i hope it's too early to have that. i don't feel depressed. i feel overwhelmed at caring for 2 babies at the same time (and even more so if mom has to care for grams and is unable to help out like she planned). it's bittersweet that the boy is off to school - obviously i'm happy that he's in school, but also a bit sad that he is growing up and doesn't need me as much as he used to. but that's life. nothing else to do but deal.

dad update

good news on dad. he's doing well enough to leave the hospital today. unfortunately the doc hasn't been around to sign his DC papers! poor dad. he's crawling the walls antsy. but he's feeling much much better. mom's a little disgusted with the services the hospital offers. no snack bar or shuttle service on weekends. she was going to park in valet but that's closed weekends too. i think it stinks too. how do people who have walking difficulties walk the huge parking lot? what about eating a healthy meal since the snack shop is closed? the hospital is a huge system, and they're growing yearly, so why limit services on weekends? incidentally, this is the same hospital where i visited the RE and had a lousy experience, not to mention the useless visits to the derm. the hospital sits half empty. what a waste. but i shouldn't complain. the doctors fixed my dad up quickly and ably, and for that i'm grateful.

our bishop presided over our church service this morning and the service went well. that should please dad. the boy sang his last anthem for the season, until next fall. he's such a good little singer.

hubby painted our bathroom this weekend and will install the new closet. he did it to keep his mind occupied instead of worrying about dad. the walls used to be this dark greenish paneling. now it's a soothing pale shade of sage green. the room looks totally different now! much brighter and cheerful. hubby also bought ceiling paint, becos it didn't occur to us to paint the ceiling first. we hadn't planned on it, since the ceiling is white, but it looks terribly dingy and there are lots of water spots from leaks from heavy storms/house washing. i plan on getting some new rugs (we've had the current ones since we've been married and the rubber backing has worn off). after it's done, we'll get the closet set up and move our things into it. after that's done, we'll tackle the middle room and paint that and get it ready for the boy.

i'm 20 weeks now. i feel pretty good and feel the babies more. they feel more squirmy and i feel them in different places which makes me feel better. i'm craving really bad stuff right now - crispy treats and cherry kool-aid. shame on me! my sugar seems to be creeping up and i'm trying really hard to control it. on tuesday is our next checkup and the big ultrasound so we'll get to hopefully see better pictures of the babies.

guess that's it.

pray for my dad

please send prayer vibes to my dad. he had a heart attack this morning. he had a stent procedure and is doing much better. but he needs our prayers.

on the eve of the ravelympics

in over 12 hours i'll finally be able to cast on my hats and start knitting! this event has been wonderful in getting me energized about my knitting. i can't wait to finish my socks. they should do this every time there's a big sports championship.

i did start another baby project. i have this red cotton jean yarn by patons that has been burning a hole in my cotton stash. i only have 2 skeins of it enough i thought for maybe a hat. yesterday i got the brill idea to make the Mason Dixon baby kimono out of it. i may be about 30 yards too short but i'm knitting on smaller needles so maybe i'll make some headway with it. the fabric i'm knitting is so unbelievably soft. it's a soft red not too bright. i also have the same yarn in tan. i just might make another kimono with the other yarn if this kimono comes out nice.

the anniversary party was actually pretty nice. my in-laws were surprised about the whole thing and quite touched. there were maybe 50 people to this gig, mostly family. they had barbequed chicken, quite possibly the best corn on the cob ever, salads, fruits and veggies, aunt C made another of her famous cakes (so delicious it melts in your mouth) and ice cream. the dj played oldies (but he didn't have any of the songs i like, and i requested when i'm 64 WHICH HE DIDN'T HAVE. he should have the entire beatles catalog, not just 1! they should have hired ME to do the music since i had all the music in my own ipod!) believe it or not, ms. critical herself had no complaints about the day at all. i even got to hold our new baby cousin, hoping that baby vibes help us along again as they had with the boy.

then last night our family from nova scotia came up for a visit, on their way home. we invited them, GM and MIL to see our new rooms. they were really impressed with the work that hubby did on the floors and with the new furniture.


i hear thunder. gotta go.

the bottom drops out

it's funny how you can fuss about something and then in the blink of an eye it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

my grandmother's in the hospital with heart problems. it wasn't a big surprise. i think it's been coming a long time, but my stubborn grandmother decided to wait until yesterday to get some help. she was going to wait until monday but got scared and went to the doctor who then sent her to the hospital. she's doing a lot better, they gave her meds and are trying to regulate her heart. if that doesn't work she'll get a pacemaker. it's no big deal stuff, but it's funny how it becomes a big deal when it's happening to someone you love.

on top of this my mother was sick and couldn't even go to the hospital to comfort her own mother. my dad was with grams mostly and i went up a couple times in the evening with him and then this morning with mom. poor mom had the stomach bug. my mom must be stronger than i think. i think i was way more upset about this whole thing than my mom. or maybe mom's just not showing it. or maybe mom was so sick she really couldn't care at the time (that sounds worse than i mean). maybe mom's realized that grams might die someday. i know in my heart that will happen too but the human of me is still scared becos i love her so much. grams is 84 and never had serious health problems until now (with exception of some back problems last year, which might have contributed to this heart scare).

hubby came for us after work after stopping to get us some clothes (all i took along was some knitting and the boy's school bag, i even forgot his bag of lizards and frogs). the boy was a trooper despite the fact that he doesn't have much to play with at grams (some duplo blocks he outgrew and some cars and tractors).

i got almost the foot of gram's magic loop sock done. this is an unfortunate by-product of waiting in a hospital. dad even commented on wishing he knew how to knit or crochet so he could have something to do while waiting like this.

guess that's it.

gabba gabba hey

has anyone watched this new show on nick Jr. called yo gabba gabba? it's a cross between Krofft superstars and donkey kong and deeee-lite with trendy bands and famous people thrown in. i can't figure out whether i like the show or not. the boy on the other hand has me replay the whole thing after watching each show so i guess he likes it. it seems to have good messages - trying new foods, making fun for yourself, so that's not a bad thing. it's just very WEIRD. i can't tell if the show's got 60s or 70s or 80s influence in it, it's like prego, it's all in there. the funny thing is that every time its on I FALL ASLEEP. that's gotta mean something.

throw some prayer vibes my way - my grandmother is having balloon surgery on her spine today and needs all the good vibes she can muster. she's been in terrible pain for months and i'm so relieved that she's finally getting proper surgical treatment - not "nerve block and a bucket of meds" that her previous doctors have been suggesting. i'm so grateful that this doctor can do the procedure on such short notice - g has a consult appointment at a "big box hospital" for JANUARY 2008 becos "her injury was not severe." what a load. it's incredible what can help a body if the source of pain is just removed, not covered up. i used to go to a chiropractor and i can see some truth in manipulating the body to remove sources of discomfort (however since insurance doesn't cover chiropractic adjustments and treatment can get pricy, i've stopped going). i felt good getting my back cracked and it makes me wonder if g went to a chiropractor if her discomfort could have been prevented. who knows. medicine is just ridiculous these days.

made knee warmers for FiL. not happy with the result. they're too short. i have a feeling i don't have enough yarn to make them long enough. i'll have to fish thru my stash for proper yarn. scarf is almost done. shawl is looking nice. haven't touched sock 2. speaking of socks, a LYS is teaching toe up socks on 2 circulars this fall. i need to book myself for deer lonely ladies day (that's the tuesday after thanksgiving for all you non-hunters out there). there's also a date in october (a tuesday, i'd need someone to watch the boy for me) and a saturday that's the same day as knitter's day out so that day's totally out. i can't wait to go. funny. i got to knitting classes like someone would take night courses at college. well, it's cheaper, and probably more profitable in the long run.

guess that's it. pray from grammy.

the good mother

i've been busy the past couple of weeks and haven't found the time to post until now. on top of that i can't ever remember my email and password to this site and thus go thru the process of trying to find my password.

yesterday we took the boy to baltimore to the aquarium. i think he had a good time, but i thought he'd enjoy watching the fish more. he wanted to flit from display to display and no matter how i tried to engage him in observing the animals (how many purple fish do you see? did you see nemo? what color's the starfish?) he'd want to dash to the next display. so much for trying to be the good mother (hence the title of this post). ate at espn zone. all the dishes they have there and what do i order? chickent finger appetizer and spring rolls. actually, i hated the spring rolls. they gave me such indigestion and gas.

i found a whole foods market down there and becos we don't have one in this neck of the woods googled directions and stopped in on our way home. good thing we don't have one. i'd blow our grocery budget in 5 minutes. really great stuff. our grocery stores only offer a smattering of organic foods and what they do offer is incredibly expensive. it's hard to find even a loaf of bread that doesn't have HFCS in it. i paid $3 for a loaf of bread that i could get maybe 4 loaves for the same price and about 10 times more slices but it's just not as healthy.

we went to baltimore becos hubby had a family "xmas in july" reunion in york on sunday. it was a good time - the kids played in the wading pool and had a peanut scramble and played kickball and soccer while the adults sat around and chewed the fat. it's always a little tense - we only see his (extended) family only once or twice a year, and there's always competition about who's doing what and who has what - this is the stuff i can't tolerate. so i just sit and knit on my sock and keep my mouth shut. oh, and we were supposed to eat around 1:30 - didn't really eat until 2:30-3. but i survived. i always do.

i got my favorite knitting magazines down at b&n. i should get subscriptions - they are british magazines - but i can only imagine what the subscription cost must be. i'll have to ask my knitting teacher if i can borrow her copies when she's done. i know she gets at least one magazine.

speaking of knitting, i'm still kinda stimied on xmas gifts. now i threw into the mix a throw to make for hubby's cousin's wedding next summer, plus xmas and b-day gifts, i'm going to be cramming for getting stuff done. hopefully i can make some hay when the boy goes to school. it's only for a few hours a week, but i can get a lot done in a few hours.

lots more has happened and i don't feel like taking the time to write about it.